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These past few days, I’ve been feeling the LACK

Lack of experiences, lack of… I don’t even know.

Just feeling like I’m missing out on something and things are slipping through my fingers? 

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Today: Caught up with friend A, I went over to her place. Her cat was really friendly. We walked around the park near her place. We kept seeing one cute thing and one not-so-cute thing on the street, alternating. Baby ducks, 2 dead ducks floating on the reservoir. A cat with a lion haircut, a creepy gnome. We were talking about how really vague and general fortunetelling readings can be. Her mom had this fortune telling book of the year and told her “you need to watch out for cars this year… (as supposed to other years? ok…) someone is gonna harm you… also, someone is gonna help you.” I guess everything balances itself… 

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3 days ago (already) I texted my friend J to rant and tell her that her pet peeve has also become my pet peeve. It’s when (white) people pronounce pad thai PAED thai. Muk BAENG. GAENG-NAEM style. 

Hey hey I’m not saying you can’t mispronounce things. What really bugs me is when people pretend like they don’t know how to make this sound.

Dude… try saying “ha ha ha”. Notice how that “a” is different from how you pronounce “a” in apple. 

Anyways after I ranted we talked about Beyonce and then she told me that she’s starting a Substack.

Wow! 2 friends starting a blog in one week!

My other friend E also started posting on tumblr!

E is posting everyday! YAY! It’s become a daily ritual to go on tumblr before going to bed to read E’s writing.

E wrote (3 days ago), “all I want to do is write about the present, for the present.” 

Yeah, I feel that, I think time heals but time also warps, and when I finish writing about the day or a “thing” I feel moved on and somewhat detached from it (feeling like checking off of to-do list). 

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2 days ago, I asked A for a tarot reading. It was probably the most positive reading I’ve gotten over the past few years. It felt nice because I haven’t been feeling amazing?? especially creatively??? Despite having so much time????

After I set up my second (maker/soldering) desk, I told my friends I feel unstoppable but that’s not true

Here are times that I got stopped

• Not knowing how to use multimeter (after watching many videos on youtube I realized I have been using it wrong the entire time)
• Broken motor (I probably fried it and it is unfixable)
• Thought I didn’t have a 12V power source (later I realized I did) 
• Trying to open up my broken bluetooth airpod and I can’t open it… I don’t want to completely take it apart in case of having to put them back together
• Not having a specific project in mind

The dilemma of hating deadlines and also not doing things when there’s nothing at stake

Nom nom…..